Tales from an afternoon snack.

I ate some grapes today and made a miraculous, yet obvious, discovery.

Grape flavored candies, sodas and such DO NOT actually taste like grapes! That only led me one step further in my grand realization; no artificially fruit flavored foods taste at all like their all- natural counterparts! Now, I don't know about you, but I'm feeling a little gypped. If I want something that tastes like a grape, I want it to taste like the fruit I just ate for snack! Artificial flavoring doesn't taste bad, don't get my wrong. I would just appreciate if food companies would show a little integrity, be a little more honest. If they're going to make a product, like fundip, that they're trying to pass off as a fruit flavor, they should really make it work! If not, they shouldn't try to tell us "this what a grape tastes like," when clearly, if you go into my refrigerator, you're not going to find a sweet tongue-depressor stick and dip it into a puddle of crack-looking sugar! The food companies could at least get a little more creative with the flavor names if they're not going to even make them taste like the real deal. Instead of lying to kids saying that candies and sodas taste like grapes, why not name them something like razzle dazzle or crazy chemical flavored. That will lure 'em in!

No one tells the president what to do.

Despite the title of this post, this has virtually nothing to do with politics! It's simply a memory from when I was younger when watched the Mary-Kate and Ashley like it was my job. I was talking with a friend the other day about playing instruments. Somehow that sparked a conversation about Presidents playing instruments, specifically Bill Clinton. I instantaneously knew that he played the saxophone from this Mary-Kate and Ashley song "No One Tells the President What To Do." So I decided to youtube it. I remember thinking that it was actually Bill himself who appeared in the video. Only now do I realize it's not. Oh, well.

Here it is. Suspend your disbelief and pretend Bill is jammin on his sax.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADvopOyEsno

Quick Fixes.

Today was a bad day- that's not the focus of this post, just the preface.

But whenever I have one of these types of days, it's comforting to know that my guitar is there waiting for me. And so I played. Obviously it didn't solve all of my problems, but it helped.

I'm not the best at guitar, not even that good. And I've been trying to take good care of it and most importantly, name it. I use this hose sponge looking thing to keep it from getting warped. I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it keeps it in good condition I guess. So step one is down.

As for a name, that has yet to come. Some people feel as though guitars should be girls, but I think for my personal guitar, that would be weird. My goal, along with keeping up with this blog, is to name my guitar... eventually.

What I'm really trying to say is Thank You, nameless guitar. For although you have no name, you've really helped me today.

Globes of Gold.

GOLDEN GLOBES WERE FAB. However, I feel as though the only category on which I can adequately commentate is Best Television Series, Comedy or Musical. For those of you who did not catch any sort of news on the globes, the winner for this category was...

GLEE!!!

I must admit, I'm a total fan (haven't missed an episode), but truthfully, Glee was the last show I would expect to win. Think about it- here's a show that is mainly geared towards young teenyboppers and musical theater lovers, a small percentage of the American population. Not to mention it was up against 30 Rock (another one of my faves), The Office, and Entourage in addition to Modern Family (a show I have never seen.) So what made Glee the winner?

I think 30 Rock and The Office split the votes. They're both comedic shows on NBC that appeal to a similar type of liking. Entourage is somewhat difficult to follow if you haven't started watching from the beginning of the show and the only thing I know about Modern Family is that it's filmed in a mockumentary style, which some people just don't go for.

By default, Glee won. Or maybe not...

Glee cannot be praised for its portrayal of real life high school situations, let's face it. But it kind of instills a sense of je ne sais pas in its viewers. Everyone likes a show where everyone comes together to accomplish something that's bigger than an individual, it's just a feel good thing. And whether or not you eat sleep and breath musical theater or think its shmeh, there's no way you can deny that the cast isn't talented.

The whole winning thing is kind of what the show's about, the underdog rising above and stealing the show. So Kudos to you, Glee. Kudos.

discoveries everyday.

I CAN CHANGE THE FONT COLOR.

and even make it bold.

or italicized AND bold.

Am I the Walrus?

I know I had mentioned earlier that I am not really the walrus. I revoke that statement- simply take it back. Of course I love the Beatles, but I am the Walrus is not my favorite song. It just happened to be what I was listening to at the time of my blog's birth. But maybe I am the walrus after all.

History tells us (haha I don't know why but I think it's kind of funny how I introduced what I'm about to say in such a formal fashion, but, then again, it is history) that one fine day, Lennon returned to his alma mater. He then met one of his old teachers who told him his class was analyzing the Beatles' lyrics. Lennon was amused and with that, he decided to create an utterly nonsensical song- analyze that bitches! (excuse the profanity.) This, along with a little inspiration from C.S. Lewis, was supposedly how the song I am the Walrus came to be.

Now you're probably wondering after reading that anecdote, "What does this have to do with anything?" It was only tonight that I truly discovered that everyone is the walrus. Not everything has a deeper meaning. Some things in life are purely fun. And sometimes being illogical is more worth while than, well, anything else. Easier said than done. Everyone has the power to be zany, innovative and Lennon-esque. Let's utilize it.

If life in suburbia had a theme song...

It would go something along the lines of "there's nothing to do because everything closes at 9:00."

I've taken the effort to create a list of fun and relatively inexpensive activities to try. I've tried to make them appeal to different types of people, from those who are seeking something "chill" to those who are, well, not.

1. go berry picking- I used to do this when I was younger and it was always something that made my entire year. Sounds lame? No. Inspired by the poem "Blackberry Picking" by Seamus Heaney (I recently read this in English class.)

2. Have a fondue party- whoever came up with the concept of dipping food into chocolate was pure genius.

3. Host a rave- ok. This, in reality, is a really horrible idea. But if you can pull it off without getting in trouble, maaad props. Include a solid dj and some glow in the dark paint. If you do happen to get in trouble, don't blame me- it's not like I didn't warn you.

4. Make a music video - Grab a video camera and a song. Lip sync your way through. i've seen people on youtube make really, hilariously good ones.

5. Walmart- it seems too classic, but it's actually one of the best places to go when you're bored. I can attest to this.

6. Watermelon eating- cut the top off of a watermelon and grab a few spoons, in addition to a few friends. then keep scooping out the inside of watermelon and you can eat it, like ice cream! Much fun if eaten outside on a picnic blanket.

7. Explore a city- If you live in the suburbs, chances are there's a city that isn't too far away. Go to an area ie: Center city. just walk up and down the streets. Chances are, if it's a nice part of town, you'll find really cute places, which will spark other activities!

8. Bike ride- an often forgotten past time. No destination necessary, just riiiide.

9. Tie Dye- you can easily find tie dye at arts and crafts stores and it's actually so fun. suggestion: couple this with the watermelon eating.

10. Create a secret book and put in the school library for someone else to find and contribute to.

12. Start an "improv everywhere" type thing- if you don't know what this is, go to http://www.youtube.com/user/ImprovEverywhere

11. Just dance- gonna be ok. dah dah, doo doo.

Education as taught by Jersey Shore

Everyone knows about the show Jersey Shore, no need to explain. I've only watched the show a few times, considering that it's not the most intellectually stimulating thing on TV. It's fun to watch every once in a while, true, but one question always comes to mind.

WHERE DID THEY FIND THESE PEOPLE?!

Seriously, what did MTV have to tell these people to be on the show? Did they know that when they signed up to have their lives followed that they would gain an entire following of people making fun of them? I know the economy is rough, but REALLY? Is it worth it for anyone to subject themselves to this?

Well, I guess the cast of Jersey Shore is being slightly helpful to their viewers by teaching "educational" concepts. By watching Jersey Shore I have learned...

1. what a girl being punched looks like

2. to use discretion when speaking the words "the situation"

3. the definition of "guido."

hello.

One of my new years resolutions, I guess you could call it, would be to try new things.
This is something I wanted to try- a blog. We'll see how it goes. Nothing fancy and I don't expect anyone to read it, it's more just a personal device to say I fulfilled a new years resolution.
Ca plain pour moi!
ps- I'm not really the walrus.